A Responsible Life
We are responsible for our lives, well being and actions in all areas of our life. It is noticed that we may operate self responsibly in one context and passively in another. For example, we may be self responsible financially but dependent emotionally. We may be proactive when working for self but reactive and non accountable when working for else.
We need to be self responsible in each of the following areas of life:
- I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my activities.
When I am working on a project, listening to a lecture, playing with my child, talking with spouse, reading my performance review, driving my car, I need to do the activities consciously , giving 100% to the occasion.
- I am responsible for my choices, decisions and actions.
I am the cause of my all choices, decision and actions. When I do so knowing my responsibility, I am more likely to proceed wisely and appropriately than if I make myself obvious of my role as source. When I accept responsibility, I am far more likely to choose, decide and act in ways that will not later cause embarrassment, shame or regret.
- I am responsible for fulfillment of my desire.
One common cause of frustration and unhappiness is one’s fantasy of rescuer who will someday materialize and solve his problems and fulfill wishes. No one is coming to save me; no one is coming to make life right for me; no one is coming to solve my problems. If I don’t do something, nothing is going to get better. The great advantage of fully accepting this is that it puts power back in our own hands. We are free to act. As long as I am overpowering others, I am disempowering myself. In my avoidance of self responsibility, I am condemn my self to passivity and helplessness.
- I am responsible for how prioritize my time.
Our choices and decisions determine whether the disposition of our time and energy reflects our professed values or is incongruent with them. If we are clear in our understanding that how we prioritize time is our choice and responsibility, then we are most likely to address and correct contradictions than if we tell ourselves that we are somehow victims of circumstances.
- I am responsible for how I deal with people.
Whether I choose to say or do, I am author of my behavior. I am responsible for how I speak and how I listen. I am responsible for the rationality and Irrationality of dealing with others. I am responsible for the respect or disrespect towards others, for the fairness or unfairness, for the kindness or unkindness, for the generosity or meanness. Whether I keep my promises or break them, it is my decision.
- I am responsible for what I do about my feelings and emotions.
If we are educated to understand or manage to learn our own, that we are responsible for actions we take on the basis of our feelings, the chances that we will be less impulsive and more thoughtful about our behavior. But we operate on the implicit premise that whatever impulse hits us must be followed, if we believe that feelings are to be obeyed without judgment, than we become reckless drivers through our existence.
- I am responsible for my happiness.
If we take the position that our happiness is primarily in our own hands, we give ourselves enormous power. We are not waiting for events or other people to make us happy. We are not trapped by blame or self pity. We are free to look at the options available in any situation and respond in the wisest way. If something is wrong our response would be what can I do? What are the possibilities?
In taking responsibility for our own existence we implicitly recognize that other human beings are not our servants and do not exist for other human beings as means to our ends, just as we are not means to their ends. Morally and rationally, we are obliged to respect one another’s right to self interest.
(Adapted from book of Dr. Nathaniel Branden (Ph.D.) – Taking Responsibility)